Facing It Together
by Spiffie Kean
Summary: A short 'lil fic based on my X-Men roleplaying site, JeanWolverine and the appearance of Phoenix. A mix of Comic-verse and Movie-verse, so there are some crazy twists. Don't get it? READ! People who Review get brownies!


_Okay, here it is, what I said I would do months ago; The fic that explains it all. This is a short little thang based off the Rolepalying site www.xmenrp. (I'm Jeannie!), so it is a mix between the X-Men movie verse, (Regarding Jeans death, the characters, the plot) but with a touch of the comic verse (Phoenix Force as an entity, not a power leap, Scott being a stuck up, restricting, back stabbing mayonaise jar ) ...So it's a bit wacked. Keep in mind that in our version Jean and Logan are like this :Crosses index and middle finger, kisses it: So yeah. I'm expecting LOTS of flames for the big Cyclops diss right there, and plenty of reviews I hope... :holds up plate of brownies: So enjoy the sickeningly sweet fluffy-ness!_

_PS) Words i Italics like these are thoughts. Words like _--These-- _is telepathy, and I think speach is obvious._

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Marvel, the Marvel Characters, Fox, or any character in the Marvel characters likeness. This world is Stan Lees, and I do not intend to make any money off this, me and Wolvie and DD are just gonna screw it up!

Facing It Together

Once apon a time I died.

But, true to my namesake, I got better.

My name is Jean Grey. I am a mutant. A freak. An outcast. Homo sapien-sapien superior. And I am an

X-Man. We are lead by mentor, teacher, and something of a father to us, Proffesser Charles Xavier. Defenders of a world that hates and fears us, the X-Men are mutants that band together, uniting our mutant abilities for the betterment of mankind. Our goal… no, our dream, to establish peace between mutant and humankind, co-existance of two different genetic codes, working together.

My goal, to fall asleep. I lie here in a guest room down the hall, its plain cream walls bare, the tasteful green drapes swaying in a chill, spring breeze, the spot beside me on this unfamiliar bed empty, alone. This ache, this empty place inside me that had once been my hope, torn, ripped clean away from me is still too open.

Scott Summers is dead.

And I killed him. Ironic, isn't it? He truly did love me. And, once a time ago, I loved him too. We were young, both lost and alone. We depended on each other. And then, everything changed.

---------------------------------

Jean Grey swung her legs over the edge of her bed and stood, creeping across the plush beige carpet to her temporary room's door. Gripping the cold door knob she quietly pushing open the door, making her way down the hall. Down the stairs, down the foyer and out the back. With her telepathic guard down, Jean didn't realized her silent escape did not go un-noticed. Watched by a dark figure standing in the hall, shrowded by shadows, she made her way outside.

---------------------------------

As I stare up at the clear night sky, the constallations winking down at me like old friends, I wish that I had died up in Alkali Lake. I wish that my body had just been swept away by the huge walls of water, that my breath would leave and that I may rest. My mind drifts and a flip expertly through pictures, compiled of my memories and the people who were there, the day I died.

!FLASH!

'Good bye, Scott.' Jean's last words, spoken through Proffeser Xavier, as Jean stood outside the Black Bird, being pulled and torn in two directions. As she manually operated the Blackbird from the outside, trying to repair the huge aircraft, holding back the telepaorter known as 'Nightcrawler' and balancing on a broken leg, the huge wall of water slammed into her, sooner than expected; billions of tons of water rushing foreward at full speed. With her and her friends death held back by her telekenetic wall, she didn't regret this choice. If it meant her for her friends life, her love, then she would take the gamble. She felt her power, pulsating through her, growing weaker, weaker… Not enough time! The Blackbird wasn't ready… It was forcing through her barrier! Another couple seconds and it would… It would… She struggled to regain conciousness. Then… Fire.

Consuming her, filling her vision, and she knew she was not in her body anymore. This fire, stripping her of her unworthy, mortal flesh, exposing her astral essance underneath, she gazed up at this celestial being, with a beauty no mortal could describe, a power too awesome to comprehend. It's beauty… She wished he could see it, share it with her… It's song vibrated through her, showing her. Not in words, but its offer, it's message, was clear. It would save her, her teammates, let her LIVE. Seconds to choose… With a strangled cry Jean was consumed by the flames as they lept and danced, breathing life into her…

And she was in her own body, alight with the beauty and power of the thing, and its borrowed power. Lifting the blackbird into the air, the last thing she saw was a gigantic bird of irridecent fire, before she was plunged under the waves.

!FLASH!

That is one of the gifts, or if you want, curses, of being a telepath; every memory, even if it's not yours, was as clear as if it happened yesterday, if not clearer. I crossed her arms over my minidress-style white nightgown, and with its thin material, I should have been cold. But I am not, something that scares me. Before, I could telekenticly maintain my body heat for about 10 minutes. Now, I don't feel cold at all. In fact, I hardly need to sleep, or to eat. _It's like the changes that came over me are becoming more than cosmetic... _After Alkali, when I 'came back' my hair had grown about a foot, maybe more. Before it was short and stylish; After, it was a different texture, wavy and almost unmanagble, curling at the ends. My scars were gone and any imperfection smoothed out. But it was if… Whatever saved me had crafted me to it's will, moulding me as it thought I should be.

And then there was the fire; A couple times before, I lost control. I would have died, but I saw fire, I felt the giant firebird welling up inside of me, and I used that power, often at the expense of buildings, cars and very nearly the lives of the people I was trying to protect. But it couldn't completely get past my humanity, my fear. My fear is that maybe one day, I will give in to its offer, of power and all my fantasies from the side I work to control everyday, the darkness. Maybe I'll hurt someone, or lose myself completely. I have had only a taste of the unimaginable power that the fire bird posses, and that alone nearly drove me mad.

---------------------------------

Jean, dwelling in her thoughts and memories, didn't hear or sense the Canadian mutant approaching. Mind, not many people do. She had curled up on a white wicker garden chair, and with some dew settled in her hair like dimond drops, with white nightgown and pale skin illuminated by the moonlight, she looked like a fallen star.

"Jeannie?" Jean jumped and turned her head around.

"Logan!" She stood up, heart still hammering. "I… didn't know anyone else was out here."

"No one is… Just us." He looked at her almost critically. "I think we need ta talk." And I stand here, face to face with the man who I love, the man who has killed Scott.

!FLASH!

"This… This isn't what it looks like!"

"Oh, really Jean? Then what is this!"

Logan halfway between standing up is just staring at Scott, while Scott's anger seems to shake the room itself. Our room. "I come home to find you with that… that ANIMAL!" My anger now wells up too, and Logan growls under his breath.

"Watch it, bub!"

I step back to rest a hand on his arm. **--**Don't do anything rash… This is what he wants_…--_ Though my telepathic 'voice' was laced with fear and anger as well.

"You know, I just KNEW he would pressure you into something like this!" He seemed almost mad with denile and anger. "I mean, with a past like his… Oh, wait, what past?" That did it; cracked the proverbial camels back. With a 'SNIKT' and a cry of rage, Logan lept foreward, uncontrolled fury in his eyes. It seemed to hppen in slow motion… Scott, falling to his knees, hand on his visor preparing to attack, me running foreward and throwing myself in front of Scott. I heard, rather than felt the adamantium claws pierce my side; Heard the little 'whoosh' of air from Scott behind me. Heard Logan's claws retracting. And turned to look at Scott, blood seeping from 3 holes directly over his heart, Dead.

!FLASH!

"You can't blame yourself, Jeannie. You're not an animal." Jean turned her head away, moisture building in her emereld eyes, that more and more often felt like someone else's.

"I killed him." She hissed through her teeth. Suddenly months of doubt and fear held back by a single strand overwhelmed Jean, throwing herself into an mental ocean, waves of anguish smashing into her, her control fading. "I could save myself... And.. I couldn't even do..." Logan's hand reached for Jean's shoulder, but was stopped by a enourmus heat radiating off Jean, whose head was bowed and hands clenched by her sides. "I am power made flesh... Light incarnate..." She murmured. "And I couldn't save him." The glass of the windows behind them, looking out to the garden shattered, pieces of glass raining down like crystal, tinkling onto the stone pathways and shimmering in the grass. The ground beneath the pairs feet shook and began to crack, and the air between them shimmered...

"JEAN." Logan had to roar, making a grab for her wrist, ignoring the searing, firey pain. At his touch the manipulation stopped, and the night was quiet again. The chairs and table that had been floating in mid air fell to the ground. Logan, the Wolverine, the Unbeatable, was at a loss. Turning Jean's face to look into her eyes, he found, beyond the power and the pain, the same humility, the same soul, the same Jean he had fallen in love with. "I still belive in you."

---------------------------------

Jean, no, Phoenix, gazed back at Logan. She wanted to trust; Trust in herself, that she could love Logan again, trust in her power, that she could keep it in check; Trust that no one else she cared about would ever be hurt again. She couldn't trust in herself, no, but she could depend on her friends, and the man before her. They were her strength, the reason she defied death. Taking his hand, she moved foreward, only to be pulled into a passionate embrace, a merging of bodies and minds and souls.

--I belive in you, too-- Emotions, sensations, their thoughts and worries; nothing was hidden, and everything shared, and lost in the colors and lights resembling the heavens, these lovers knew it wouldn't be easy; but still, they knew, they'd go down fighting, every step of the way, together.

---------------------------------

_There it is! Betcha all got diabetes by now, right:Tosses out brownies: Review please!_

**- Jean**


End file.
